Shoutout to the females that compliment each other, that jealousy shit dead
Sir David Attenborough demonstrates the accuracy of the Mozambique Spitting Cobra’s venom streams by wearing a chemically treated visor that makes the venom turn purple on contact.
From Life in Cold Blood
DAVID ATTENBOROUGH IS MORE HARDCORE THAN ANY DOCUMENTARIAN CAN POSSIBLY IMAGINE.
DID CARL SAGAN DO ANYTHING LIKE THIS SHIT? I THOUGHT NOT. BILL NYE? FUCK NO.
BEAR GRILLES IS A PIECE OF SHIT COMPARED TO THIS CARAMEL-VOICED ENGLISH BASTARD.
SIR ATTENBOROUGH IS A BILLION YEARS OLD AND HE WILL NOT STOP. HE IS THE TERMINATOR OF NATURE DOCUMENTARIES. HE’S CLIMBED TO THE TOP OF THE HIGHEST JUNGLE TREE TO LOOK AT LILIES. HE’S SOARED IN THE SKY IN A GLIDER WITH VULTURES. HE CROSSED THE PACIFIC TO SEE WHALES. HE’S EVEN BEEN TO THE BOTTOM OF THE GODDAMN OCEAN TO TALK ABOUT THE SPOOKY-ASS SHIT THAT LIVES DOWN THERE. KILIMANJARO? BEEN THERE. NORTH POLE? BEEN THERE. SAHARA DESERT? BEEN THERE MULTIPLE TIMES. FUCKING VOLCANOES? BEEN AND DONE. FUCKING AUSTRALIA? ENTIRE SHOWS THERE. HE WILL NOT STOP. HE WILL NEVER STOP. NOT UNTIL HIS SMOOTH-ASS FATHERLY VOICE AS TAUGHT US ALL ABOUT ALL THE NATURE FOREVER.
WELL WHAT THE HELL WAS CARL SAGAN SUPPOSED TO DO? RIDE OFF INTO A FUCKING BLACK HOLE?
God bless Sir David Attenborough.
"ALIENS EXIST" ZINE
I am pleased to announce that my zines are officially on sale! Buy your copy HERE!! 12 full color pages of paranormal goodness can be yours for only $8
I’ll be giving away 3 copies to some of you lucky tumblr users! Reblog for a chance to win. Winners announced on Friday, March 21st.
Hi friends! I’ve got a few leftover postcards from my latest mailing so I’m going to be giving away 25 of them! The postcard has “bad omens” printed on the front and measures 6.5”x8”. First 25 people to send me their name & address in my ask box will get one! (US only, sorry, international stamps are expensive!)